Adjusting as New Parents

No matter what romantic ideas you may have — your new baby who is bathed, fed, cuddled and is now sleeping peacefully in a clean and tidy house, while you relax with a good book and fond glances at your mate—it is not realistic. Having a new baby is like a new marriage, you have new roles and new household tasks to define. This can be an emotionally high and low time, especially for the mother since her hormones are changing.

The early life with your baby is the most demanding on your time. It is overwhelming at first but you can be assured that as you grow as parents and as the baby matures, it will become easier.

You can not always have boundless energy, be relaxed, confident, consistently loving and meet all of your baby's and partner's needs. You both bring many strengths to this new role of parent - if you tackle parenthood as a team, your rewards will be many.

Tips for coping and adjusting

Do not have too high expectations for yourself, your partner or your baby at the start. Each of you is adjusting to changes in your life—altered family structure, demands on your time and changes in relationships.
Make the most of all the precious, close, happy times you do have with each other and your baby. Feelings are very catching and the baby who is surrounded by loving feelings in the early years is able to give them back later.
Talk about your feelings—you may have a lot to talk about, such as the birth experience, breastfeeding, your interest in sex, your body's changes, and what being a new parent means to you.
Problem solve together. It may help you put the situation in perspective and arrive at a creative solution. Problems seem less important when they are shared and solved together.
Talk about what you liked and disliked about how you were raised. Remember the things your parents did that you would like to copy as well as weaknesses that you would like to avoid. This can stop you from repeating the negative patterns you disliked as a child.
Take advantage of baby's nap times for conversation and shared activity, rather than chores.
Make your housekeeping standards realistic. Clutter is normal when caring for a new baby.
Organize your priorities together as a couple. Decide to do only those things you two decide are very important. It might help to make a separate list of things that must be done, things that are nice to do if time permits and things that can wait.
Most of all—remember your sense of humor!